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a vicious cycle
 vs 
one of my good friends shawn, raised an idea that has had me baffled all morning.
the idea: that the human race is progressively getting dumber and less attractive.
the reason: alcohol
suffice to say, i agree with him. but then i started to ponder the question why?
being a man, i can only speak on behalf of the general male population. in fact, i can’t even say that – i am speaking on behalf of the percentage of chauvinistic sex deprived single men out there who aren’t worried about speaking their mind and/or offending the opposite sex.
correct me if i’m wrong but here’s my theory.
the truth of the matter is that for most single guys, the idea of going out is to have a good time. and when i mean a good time, i mean sex. and in order for most guys to have sex, they need to pick up. that means at the minimum, a genuine introduction and good conversation. trust me, as simple as this sounds, it is definitely no easy feat. and considering the number of men on the prowl compared to the already limited number of attractive women present at any one time, our job gets all that much harder.
why bother then?
well, that’s where alcohol comes into play. for those few who will stay totally sober and just go in for the kill… we hope you came back with your tail between your legs having been rejected yet again. those who actually score, we hope you burn in hell. as for the rest of us, we have a little reassurance called alcohol to add that spark of confidence. think of it as a liquid love making catalyst – it merely speeds up the matchmaking process.
however, when that drink becomes two, or three, or ten and then becomes a drink at her place, that's when real trouble starts. (mind you - the beer goggles are working to their full extent right at this very moment...)
that and the fact that when we are out in a drunken stupor, we find even the most hideous women looking more attractive than they really are, allowing us feel like god almighty because we have struck gold.
(waking up next to your unsightly catch the morning after is an entirely different story though).
when this happens, it's all too late. soon enough, you’re married, having less than decent looking newborns and before you know it, we have yet again contaminated the human race with more unattractive people.
but fear not… because alcohol solves all problems.
in the end, when the world is left with only ugly people, there is always more alcohol to distort our vision and do it all over again.
and thus the vicious cycle continues… | | |
| smoking kills or so i’ve been told
i’m 5 days into my quit smoking program…………………….. ok, i’ll pause momentarily to let all of you finish laughing first………………….. and surprisingly, i am exceeding even my own expectations. with a helping hand from nicabate, this daunting journey is seemingly getting easier by the day. don’t get me wrong, i still have urges to smoke but nicabate cq patches really do help to suppress the cravings (hahaha… see, the ads do work)
before i proceed, a note to those above mentioned sceptics who are probably still laughing: eat shit coz i’ll quit smoking and live healthily till a ripe old age while you on the other hand, will probably live longer until you’re way past decrepit coz you never smoked in the first place… j/k
on the topic of patches, did you guys know that a side effect of using patches is having really vivid dreams (yeah, it even says that on the pack)? man, was i naïve when i read that? i was thinking more along the lines of me frolicking in a spa with 2 swedish chicks, a beer in one hand and a breast in the other – but 10 times more vivid. but no, instead i’ve been having fricken nightmares for the past few days. dammit! and when that gets amplified 10 times, it is not very amusing… at all. dreams of girlfriends cheating on me with not one guy but two and add to that the fact that that they were both my best friends. and you know how dreams can feel so real… not happy, jan.
seriously, it’s been a hard few days but hopefully this will be the start of something good. as well as quitting smoking, i’ve also started to eat healthier, and exercising more. in fact, sometimes i wonder whether i’m going overboard with this health thing. like the other day, i played 2 hours of squash with some friends, went home, had a shower and decided to go for a 30 minute run at midnight. suffice to say, i was not feeling 100% when i woke up the next day.
in the end, it’s all good.
some reasons why i am quitting smoking. hopefully, some of the smokers reading this will reflect on their own habit:
1) constant nagging from both my mum and my partner’s mum (that alone should’ve deterred me from smoking a long while ago…)
2) it’s not that cool to smoke anymore
3) it’s expensive
4) it does nothing for me
5) but most importantly because i have noticed a huge decline in my physical wellbeing ie. i can’t endure a couple of hours of sport without feeling like my lungs are about to collapse. to all the smokers out there, ever had the feeling (particularly after sport) where you feel like you just cannot inhale as quickly as you exhale, when your air pipes gets smaller and smaller every time you try to breathe in and you feel like you’re gonna pass out due to the lack of oxygen. man, that is surely a tell-tale sign that you should quit smoking.
anyway, enough talk from me. need to finish work and enjoy the weekend. and for the record, squash tomorrow and tennis on sunday. meet the newer, leaner me… | | |
| the stallion
following on from my previous post, i'm gonna make an effort to focus on my daily life rather than dwelling on stupid girly topics in my blog. well... what did i do today? let me recall - i woke up, went to work, had lunch, finished work, had dinner, went home, watched some tv and then had 3 hours of sweat induced animal sex. ok, so i made up that last bit but where would we be without a little imagination? so my life's not all that exciting... in fact, it's pretty darn BORING. oh well, shit happens... | | |
| omen
i was re-reading some of my previous xanga posts today and it abruptly came to my attention that my blog sounded more like an excerpt out of sex in the city than an online journal. yes, MY BLOG... *sigh*. all this talk about love, and getting older, and insecurities… which made me wonder: what is wrong with men (myself included) these days? has the psyche of men transcended to a level where we are comfortable expressing our sensitivities? are new age men now more in touch with their feminine side than ever before? or have we always been like that but too afraid to let the world know?
or is it just me???
men as we know them have definitely changed over the years. in fact we, as men are changing the very core of our manhood: we are changing the sort of things we eat, the topics of conversation we have and the types of television shows we watch. why, we are even changing the way we interact with women. experts have fashioned a name for this phenomenon: the sensitive new age guy… snag!!!! C’MON!!! SENSITIVE??? US??? we are not just talking about putting the toilet seat down after we’ve flushed or getting those pubic hairs off the soap before the next person steps into the shower. we are talking about a revolution in the way that men think, behave and express their emotions. we are talking about men merging into women or women into men!!!
well, here’s an example:
think about the types of tv shows we watch. the footy show, rugby league, rugby union, aussie rules… maybe csi, southpark, and the simpsons… but who would’ve thought that us, men would be watching SEX IN THE CITY and QUEER EYE!!! what the…??? you may laugh but i know for a fact that many of my more macho counterparts do exactly that. makes you wonder, how many guys in the world actually watch these so called “women shows” and when i mean watch them, i don’t mean they are there to accompany their girlfriends, wives or whoever it may be but to watch them for the love of the show? what’s worse is if you know all the characters by name: carrie, charlotte, miranda, samantha, big (hahahaha). but of those men who watch these shows regularly, how many would admit to it???
well, i for one, would admit it, had i been………. GAY!!! not that there’s anything wrong with being gay. in fact, i embrace gayness. which leads me to another point. our acceptance of people with different sexual preferences (in this case, homosexual men) is getting higher. gay men and women are now widely accepted in our culture, same sex marriages are on the cards and bisexuals are now more prominent than ever…
then there’s the question of appearance. whereas before, you ‘d be lucky to find a man who used deodorant after a shower, these days men are exposed to such things as the 3 step face cleansing system: wash, tone and moisturise and other such idiocies. look at our recent shopping patterns, there is now an overwhelming abundance of male products in the market, male skin care, male hair care, then there’s male fashion, male grooming and the list goes on.
we, as men are opening up to a whole new world. what once was strictly out of bounds in male thinking is now the norm. the world is now a haven for new ideas and male practices.
i guess it’s inevitable that as we evolve as men, and slowly bridge the gap between males and females, one day, we will be left with a generation of single sex, single race humans.
and when men and women have merged into that one entity, what would we call this new generation of single sex humans:
men + women =
what else but an “omen”… | | |
| clouded thoughts …
i have come to the realisation that love isn’t what it’s cracked up to be. why is happiness always coupled with heartache? why do we condemn ourselves into a relationship that can be so difficult at times? how can you be sure that the person you choose to be with is “the one”? how do you know when or if you are ready to settle down? is love ever eternal? is solitude better than riding the wave of emotions that is a part of any relationship? why is it that sometimes you only realise you love someone or something once you have lost it? why do we take for granted the things we have and cherish the things we can’t or don’t have? can we learn to love or is it something that comes naturally?
these are all questions that i struggle to find answers for.
for me, love isn’t just about your first kiss, or walking hand in hand along the beach, or staring into each other’s eyes and knowing what the other person is thinking. for me, there is a deafening reality about love that scares the living daylights out of me. love is not quantifiable – it cannot be measured, nor can it be compared. yet everybody has their own opinions on what love is …
or are we just so caught up in this fairy tale that we can’t see past the reality of it all?
alfred lord tennyson once said “'tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all”. what do we make of these words? does the experience of love make us better people or rather, more complete human beings? does the heartache of love allow us to learn and appreciate the beauty of love?
some say that love is about wanting the best for the other person. well, is it? or is it really wanting the best for yourself? are we merely using each other for companionship and reassurance? i ponder…
others say that love is when you keep giving and giving without expecting anything in return. or is that merely a fantasy in itself? can we give unconditionally just because we love someone?
undoubtedly not, i say. love is about compromise, and patience, and hope.
for me, the reality of it is waking up day after day and being able to experience that wholesome feeling of contentedness – that feeling you get when you know that they are there, through the good times, the bad times and all the times in between, knowing that they are thinking about “us” and not just “me” or “you”, knowing that they will embrace your family and friends as if it were their own, knowing that they will accept you for who you are, no matter how disgusting or silly you may be…
but how do you know if you’ve found the one? a friend of mine once said “you’ll know when you’ve found the one” – you will change for the better. maybe so… but how many of us truly find that one person that we are in complete harmony with? considering that there over 6.5 billion people in the world, what are the chances that you will find “the one”? let’s break this down further: in australia alone, there are over 20.3 million people; in nsw, just over 6.7 million; in sydney, over 3.7 million; and if we break it down to those few that fit in the 20-29 year old age bracket in sydney, we are still looking at just under 300,000 men and just over 300,000 women. now really, what are the chances???
it makes perfect sense to think that love can be powerful and rewarding, yet at the same time it can be overwhelming and daunting. you figure it out…
well, as a guy, at least i can say that there are more women to choose from than men… hahahaha. in that respect, it’s all looking good… | | |
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